Bear Scare

TODAY (June) I was in my kitchen around 1 this afternoon, happily cooking a roast beef dinner; when I felt the cabin shudder and heard what I thought was a thunder clap or sonic boom.

I turned to look outside and saw what looked like the backside of a large reddish- tan dog. I thought to myself "Now who's dog is on my deck!
The 'dog' turned around and I realized that the "cinnamon" neighborhood bear had stopped by for a visit. He had leaped up on the end of the deck from the ground below.... and was just on the other side of my wooden porch swing....4 feet away from me at the kitchen window.

Terrified, I grabbed a large pan and a cutting board, and began banging and screeching.....it panicked and turned a circle trying to decide which way was the fastest outta here.

It decided to leave by the stairway at the other end of the deck (go figure?)....it dashed between my outdoor grill and the porch rail and went THROUGH my center potted tomato......leaving the other 2 standing, and a huge mess of plant and dirt on the steps.

When it hit the ground on the other side of the deck, it decided to stop and graze(????) Heart nearly beating out of my chest, I prayed, grabbed my 'weaponry' and stomped out onto the deck, banging and screeching. I guess a bear's sensitive hearing can't stand high pitched sounds...and believe me I hit notes in the stratosphere that are not on a piano!

It stood on it's hind legs, gave me a "lady PLEASE" glance, and bolted into the forest ... in the direction of my neighbor Judy's cabin! It resembled a large sloppy teenager in low-rider pants as it's loose flesh wiggled in the run.
"Oh no," I thought, "I've killed Judy!"

Judy, a retired Texan, is a true Mountain Woman who likes to work ouside around her property. She had perfected the "screech-bang technique" long before I moved to the mountains. Fortunately Judy was down the mountain and in town, and had missed the excitement.

After I stopped shaking, I remembered Aunt Ora's crushed-red-pepper animal deterrent. I mixed a gallon of the choking stuff and went around the outside of my cabin, singing loudly, gagging, dousing the windows, front porch and back deck.

My Mountain Woman education goes on. Neighbors further up the mountain informed me that
the bear had smelled the roast beef through the windows, and was drawn to join me for lunch.